Happy birthday, Daddy!

Daddy,

Today is your birthday. Wish you can continue with your golfing and keep yourself healthy.
I am glad I have such a great dad in my life. I know you have done lots of things for me. I really appreciate everything you have done for this family.
Don't worry about me and bro. We have grown up and can take care of things on our own. So..no worries..just keep yourself healthy and happy everyday!

Love you

Everyone…

So much of concern, so much of support
I did not miss out any single messages
I know that at this time I should brace up and stay strong
I’ll try to adjust to the right attitude that I should have
It's still a long way to go in the future
I don’t wish to give up now, it’s only that I really need to challenge myself during this period of time
I would like to thank everyone for all your care, concern, prayers and blessings
Although it's difficult but I believe I'll go through this
I'm really blessed to have you guys when I'm facing such hardship
I give the time I have to my friends and to the things I love doing
I make myself more splendid
Wait and see, wait for me to come back to a full new and always smiling person

Having said so much

The main point is..... some time ago, my depression and unhappiness,
I have gotten over it, sorry to bring such emotions to you guys.
But I still insist that this is the place for me to express my feelings and vent my emotions
Just that I’m really sorry and embarrassed to have shared my unhappiness with you people.
Now, I’ll will boost my energy to the maximum and brace up and continue my perseverance
There are many more guardians around me

Mary Ann

What else can I do?

Who can tell me
What on earth am I doing
I feel that no matter how much efforts I put in, there's still won’t be any results
Perhaps everyone should go for plastic surgery, there’s no need for studying, also no need for learning anymore things
Because this society’s values are just like that

long time no blog

It has been quite a while since I've wrote anything here
Nothing actually happened, just that I had been extremely busy lately
But I still managed to pen some of my thoughts down in my diary which I carries along with me

My life has changed gears and it's going along at a slower pace
Trying to take things easy and enjoying every single minute of the day
Life at the workplace is still as hectic, with year end closing and all
Only manages to leave work latest by 9pm. After work though, my body is exhausted and this tend to make me to take things at a slower path

And yes, enjoying my leisure time by listening to my own music collections
I always love music and so it's now back to music
Perhaps one day I'll be able to play my piano again

keep coming back to me....

Fragments and pieces of the image of happiness is keep on flowing to me day by days recently. Is so real that I could actually touch on it and feel that is still there. I don't know why this feeling keeps on coming back to me and I knew is something that is gone and it will not come back any more. Places we go, things we do, places we eat, the touch and everything is keep on coming back to me even I choose to let to.

This is the real suffering that i am going through now. Why
God choose to put me through this trial of life. My faith towards love and relationship is all gone. I don't trust marriage anymore as i know deep inside i have fear in me. I pray to God to please help this poor soul to move on in my life...

Everyday now is filled with all this killing memories and the pressure is getting deeper and deeper and i really feel i am suffocated. I really hope if there is a way out from this....

taking credits

when you had no money in your wallet, i quietly added some into your wallet
when you tell me you need some cash, I gave it to you
when you needed money, I transferred to you
when you forgot to settle your credit card, i settle it for you
when we went out, I contributed on the expenses – toll, parking, food
when you wanted things that you like, i tried my best to get them for you
when you really like some things to modify your car, and you couldn’t afford it, I got it for you
when you had no money to fix your car alarm, I sponsored you as you travels outstation frequently
when you were involved in a bad car accident, i borrowed you my car while i walk to work

we bought a house together and you ask me to settle everything
i dealt with the developer, lawyer and bank on the house matters
i prepared all the necessary documents needed, took time to understand all the procedures
i wrote to them asking for waiver on this and that but you weren’t aware was i was doing
i came out with a bigger deposit amount for our house
i ensured that payments are made on time to avoid penalty, and you took these as frustrations
i paid for the house interest and house loan, you settle the smallest portion of the insurance
i went around doing banking alone, and only sometimes during weekends I just ask you to drop by to the bank when we’re on our way somewhere to pay the house loan, you grumble, scold and black face at me, yet I did not say anything but apologize.
you always say once you get your salary and claims, you’ll transfer some money back to me, but it never did happen and never did i utter a single word

i arranged and sourced for our wedding preparations as u ask me to settle everything
only needed you to accompany to sort out our wedding things and you weren’t happy with it.
you said why I can’t go and settle these things on my own. Hey...is it my wedding or our wedding?

i paid for my own wedding gown
i tailor-made and paid my own evening gown
i paid for my family attire’s
i paid for the photographer that you like and chosen
i had nothing left then, when I said to you that you’ll need to pay for the restaurant deposit. The restaurant was chasing me every 2 days where I only said to you once a week and you show unhappiness and black face to me.
i paid for your shoes...probably this is why you ran away...

after all these, matters which i’ve been doing on my own
yet you say I’m always depending on you, giving you burden,

i did everything but you took credits for everything.